


We don't need a lighthouse to find our way back home.

by soulhead



Series: Footage de gueule [9]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Domestic Bliss, Fluff, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 14:56:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18693748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulhead/pseuds/soulhead
Summary: The fire in our heart will guide us in the right direction.Or, Eric and Dele truly discover themselves to the sound of waves crashing into Cornwall's shore.





	We don't need a lighthouse to find our way back home.

For Eric, gratitude is a feeling he carries with him like a second skin. He can’t downplay the significance of the unique opportunities he was given. To name just a few of his countless blessings : he can't forget he was granted the chance to be born into a loving family, to grew up into a top-level athlete and most important of all, he was given the possibility to spend his life alongside Dele.

The novelty of it never disappears and he still can't fully comprehend how they manage to live their relationship in plain sight. It's part of the arrangement they have at the club. Don't ask questions when they both never bring a plus one at the club’s numerous dinners, pretend to not notice when they stay too long in an embrace or when they come at the training ground together. If really necessary, make humorous remarks about their enamored behavior when they forget themselves into each others stares.

It could be considered tiring, this code of silence everyone adopted around them.

It isn’t, not when his heart never fails to tighten at the thought of other less fortunate athletes who will never have the chance to live as fully and freely as them.

Besides, this code of silence is not followed by everybody in the club : Jan is one of the few who openly acknowledge their relationship for what it is, a relationship. The rare discussions they have about this subject always leave Eric somewhat disorientated, as if he couldn't believe his luck. The privilege of being able to talk with his best friend about his relationship with another man feels simply surreal.

It's precisely how he feels during a barbecue he planned with Jan, when the following words leave the belgian's mouth :

“Do you plan to do something with Dele this summer ?” he asks in a noncommittal way as he and Eric are busy preparing their meal.

“We...We're not sure yet.”

“Oh great, in that case I've got something for you, consider it a celebratory gift for your return on the field.”

“Oh come on Jan, I don't nee...” he protests as Jan hands him a small card.

“Just take it !”

When Eric does, he recognizes it as a copy of Jan and Sophie's honeymoon photoshoot. The picture immortalizes them in front of a small wooden cottage near the sea, looking worse from wear but smiling nonetheless at the camera lens. He remembers Jan's drunkenly retelling the countless mishaps they had to face during their honeymoon, noticeably when he and Sophie loaned a small home southwest of London. If he recalls correctly, they ended up staying inside the house during the whole week of their holiday, bed ridden by a bad case of flu.

“What ? Why are you giving me this picture ? I know you didn't enjoy your honeymoon but getting rid of any evidence of it is a litt...”

“Shut up Eric, this“ he points on the picture at the house behind them ”is the plan you could have for the summer. Actually, it’s the one you’re gonna have, I already loaned it for a full week on your behalf.”

“Are you serious ? I...I don't know what to say...Wait, didn't you tell me it was the worst holiday you could have ever spent ?” questions Eric, an expression of incredulity appearing on his face.

“The holiday was terrible from start to finish, there's no denying that our bodies were fucking with us, but the location itself was perfect ! Me and Sophie were going through our wedding photos the other day and when I remembered this cottage, I don't know, I just thought it would be a good place for you and Dele to..you know...rest ?”

“Really ? That's very thoughtful of you but what brought this on ?”

“I think you and your boy needs it, that's all.” he says quietly, as he halts himself in seasoning the meat Eric passed him.

“You..” he stammers before clearing his throat, forcing himself to behave like the nickname Dele was given didn't throw him off-guard ”You think so ?”

“Yes, I'm sick and tired of you two behaving like you could accidentally break each other's bones if you hug yourselves with too much intensity. It's getting boring, you’re both healthy now, you deserve to start acting like it again.”

“But it must have cost you a fortune ? I could have paid it for ourselves !”

“Couldn't take the risk of you never following through and staying in London all summer. Besides, Hugo and Kane contributed to half of the expanses, so it's not like it's gonna put a dent in my budget.”

“Hugo and Kane too ?” he inquires.

“Yes, now just talk to Dele about it, make sure we'll get a clean sheet next match and we'll be even.”

Ask Dele. It's all he has to do.

Easier said than done.

***

It's only one week later that he ends up being able to muster the courage to talk about Jan's gift to Dele. He's been reduced to a nervous wreck by thinking about how maybe Dele wouldn't be really into this idea of spending a full week with only him.

After all, it's been barely a full year that they've slowly transitioned from being best-friends to being a romantic couple, yet they've always been surrounded by their teammates, friends of Dele's or of Eric's along the way. Maybe they aren't ready to be just themselves as a couple, with no one in-between, with the level of domesticity a week long retreat would entail ? Maybe Dele won't even enjoy the idea of spending part of their summer break in a small house ? Maybe he already has something planned, a flight to somewhere with beaches of white sand, with palm trees and where the streets are constantly illuminated with thousands of clubs signs ?

Sunday evening, after training, he ends up taking the coward way out and sends a text to Dele, explaining to him the details of their possible holiday.  
He gets no immediate answer and ends up taking Clay and Cisco to the park for an evening walk.  
It's only one hour later, his jeans covered in mud and a guilty looking pair of dogs trailing behind him, that he checks his phone :

FROM DELE  
only 1 week tho ?  
Today, 6:01 PM

Reading this answer, Eric lets out a deep exhale and feels his chest instantly expanding, as if freed by those simple four words.

FROM ERIC  
I take it as a yes ?  
Jan told me we could extend our one week stay if the landlord was ok.  
Today, 6:30 PM

  
FROM DELE  
niiiiice, gotta get my beach body ready then!!!  
Today, 6:31 PM

  
FROM ERIC  
The place is in the north of Plymouth, not in California, so don't expect too much of the beaches Dele...  
Today, 6:34 PM

  
FROM DELE  
i'll just be half naked all day in the house then  
gotta show off the goods for my man lol  
Today, 6:35 PM

A loud clank stops him from typing his answer, it’s probably Cisco playing with something he should definitely not in the kitchen, like usual.

***

When the time of their departure to the cottage finally comes after a season that lasted too many months, they chose to travel to their destination by car. It's a four, almost five hours long ride.

As the landscape around them get greener and greener, a sign of the distance they are continuously taking from London, Dele's dutifully accomplishing his role of the worst co-driver in history and has been lightly snoring since they passed the city of Reading.

Dele's asleep by his side as he's driving them to their holidays, it seems insignificant, yet it feels monumental. It's a very coupley thing to do, until now it was a step he never thoughts he could take, never dared to, like he was afraid to demand too much when he had already more than most people.

It's a step in the good direction.

***

The last quarter of their journey is spent on a sinuous road, taking them uphill, downhill, then uphill once again for what feels like ages. Eric’s grateful he’s the one driving or else he would have gotten motion sickness. Thankfully, Dele’s dreams seem unbothered by it.

Once their GPS indicates that they’ve reached their destination, Eric parks the car at the dead-end of the road.  
“Here, take the bag !” says Dele who hurried to the car's trunk as soon as he woke up. Dele's already carrying their luggage while simultaneously balancing two backpacks over his shoulders.

“Dele, give me one of yours !” Eric exclaims as he rushes over him.

“No, it's alright, just show us the way so we don't get lost.”

There's no need for him to act as a scout. The cottage stands proudly, impossible not to notice 200 meters ahead of them. Yet, after injuries started to plague Eric’s end of the season, he has learned to indulge in Dele's overcaring tendencies when it comes to him having to carry heavy objects. He cannot deny that the sight of Dele clearly struggling to carry all their bags amuses him and, although he won't ever admit it out-loud, make him feel more loved than ever before.

As they descend the top of the hill they parked their car on, they get a fuller view of the cottage.

The quirky pictures of Jan and Sophie’s honeymoon didn't do any justice to the small house carved out of wood that awaits them patiently. The first thing that hits Eric is how remote this small cottage is. The clearing around the house, so well cut and obviously taken care of with great dedication seems to be the only domesticated part of the wildness of this region.

The porch of the house creaks under their feet as they finally reach their destination after Eric had to listen to an endless stream of complaints from Dele about the unevenness of the path.

“I call dibs on the left side of the bed !” Eric hears as he has had barely the time to open the door and carry to the living room one of the bags that Dele left at the front porch.

“Dele, come on, you slept for 5 hours already while I drove and you’re the one thinking about sleeping ?” said Eric in a chastising tone to Dele who had already found the bedroom and disappeared in it. Busy with his task of unpacking the first backpack, Eric hears the small creaking of someone's feet on the floor before his left arm is stuck into Dele's hand.

“Yes and I had no one to cuddle with, it was horrible. So you better make it up to me right now.”

Like always with Dele, he ends up giving up everything at hand to follow his lead.

***

They spend the next day anchored to their bed in a haze of sleepiness.

When he finally emerges and feels his brain working maybe more efficiently than it did for the last few months, it's only due to the sunrays hitting directly his face.

Behind him, Dele has began to stir awake too, mumbling unintelligibly under his breath.

This sight almost convince him to spend one more day doing nothing but being loved up next to Dele. Watching the shadow of a small leafy tree dancing on his lover’s face could be a sight he could be unable to ever be tired of. Everything around them is so quiet, so calm. It feels like Dele's the only other human being on earth or at least the only one that matters.

***

On their second day, when the idea of having to go back to their bed finally starts to feel unappealing, they set themselves to explore their surroundings.

The tour of the house, not just of the living room and the bedroom like they did before, is quickly done.

It's a small house of three pieces, with a bathroom and a kitchen and the living room is probably the biggest piece among them. In this last piece, the decoration is quite bare, there's only a chair, a sofa, a few carpets and a bookcase that Dele is already rummaging through. Yet, the bareness of the interior only serves to amplify the profusion of beauty he failed to marvel at when they first arrived. Through the windows, he can see the landscape of the Cornwall’s coast, how it is scattered with rocks and irregularities and how the only flat terrain is the one in which the cottage was built. Small bushes and shrubs are around the house, their rich coloration creates a patchworks of brown and red, some of which he's sure the human eyes can't perceive. At the background of all this vegetation, the seemingly endless sea highlights the contrasts of colors between the land and the ocean.

That's why, as Eric's eyes fall on a small map left ignored by Dele's frantic exploration of the bookcase, he thinks that seven days won't be nearly enough to cover it all. Regrets already starts to pool in his chest.

***

It's only with a surprising small amount of coaxing that he manages to convince Dele to equip himself with the hiking shoes he packed and to finally go outside after their lunch.

The map he borrowed at the house ends up being rather useless as they follow a small paved path that imitates the curves of the coast's cliffs. With Dele walking alongside him and no destination to reach, Eric wonders how it would be to just go forward. To walk as far as their feet can carry them and never come back to where their car and their only link to London is.

His daydreams ends up being interrupted when Dele's and his stomach start grumbling from hunger. They decide to make their way back to the house while munching on the small snacks Eric had packed. The sight of the sun slowly setting down and the rapidly changing color of the sky offer them a nice distraction from their hunger. A distraction that doesn’t seems to affect Dele in any way :

“Eric, I can't feel my feet anymore and I'm still SO hungry...”

“I know Dele, it's the 10th times you've moaned about it in the past minute, we're almost there. I'll cook you some pasta really soon.” Eric tries to appease.

“Yes, but what about my feet Eric, what about th...”

Dele's words end up dying in his mouth as Eric takes him in his arms and their lips crash into one another. God, he missed too much the taste of Dele's ever rambling mouth.

“Eric ! Passerby might see us.”

“Let them see then.” he answers, a smile appearing on his face before they lose their balance and their fall is cushioned by a couple of small bushes.

As Eric's hands brush Dele's hair as if to check he didn't injure himself, he allows himself to explore Dele's neck, gently sucking his skin as all worries of decency are thrown out of the window. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, he's hit by a bunch of cut grasses and he feels his lover escape hastily his grasp, the sound of his giggles becoming more distant as the seconds pass.

“DELE !” he screams as he regains his composure before chasing him up all the way back to the house with a fist full of dirt to seek his revenge.

***

The following morning, he wakes up to Dele rummaging through their still unpacked bags. After a full year of dating, of his lover's being the first sight that crosses his eyes in the morning, he momentarily forget they're not in London anymore.

“Looking for something ?” he decides to say to make his wakefulness known to his lover.

“Yeah Dier, go prepare yourself, we're going swimming today !”

“Oh really, you're that impatient to show off this famous beach body you kept referring to, uh ?”

A pair of swimming trucks is thrown on his lap as an answer.

Next thing he knows, they are making their way to a small cove they had spotted the day before.

This time, they packed up enough food to last for the whole day and maybe the day after that, judging by the way Dele emptied half of the kitchen's drawers when he prepared their backpack.

When they reach the cove, Dele naturally declares an impromptu race to who will get into the water first and Eric, like always, loses.

He missed this so much. There’s too many sensations to relish : the appeasing ripples on the surface of the sea, the pleasing sight of foam accumulating near the shore, listening to the soothing melody of the seagulls calls…It's perfect.

After hours of letting themselves gently lulled by the calm sea, they decide to dry off on the obscenely large towel they laid off over the pebbles. At least, they try to, until a small wind starts to rise and he notices small goosebumps have appeared on Dele's skin.

Instinctively, he shifts himself closer to Dele and takes him in his arm before folding the side of the towel he previously laid on over their bodies.

“What are you doing ?” asks Dele.

“Warming us” simply murmurs back Eric as he slowly caresses Dele's arm, hoping to make the goosebumps disappear and watching fascinated the last remnant of water pearling on Dele's collarbone.

Dele doesn't answer, but he snuggles up closer to him and rests his head on his chest before closing his eyes, a faint smile on his face.

He feels like he's petting a cat, or at least it's the thought that crosses his mind as he continues to warm up Dele. His lover feels so content, so peaceful and glad to bask in Eric's undivided attention. He must have been a feline in a previous life, there's no other explanation.

It's only when they feel the first droplets of rain falling on them through the cotton of their makeshift shelter that they decide to untangle themselves and go back in the house.

“Dele, what sort of tea do you want ?” he asks once they are back at home and as he rummages through the stack of teabags the landlord left them.

Instead of being met with an answer, Dele presents him his phone that he left unattended in one of the many pockets of his bag. He doesn't say a word, his expectant stares piercing into Eric.

He understand the wordless request that Dele expect him to fullfill and searches in his phone’s contact list before executing his lover’s wish.

“Yes, this is Eric Dier speaking, the tenant of the cottage near Millook, I was wondering if a prolongation of our stay was possible ?”

The landlord on the other end of the phone enthusiastically agrees as he explains he had difficulties finding new clients for the past year. As long as they pay the weekly rant, they are welcome to stay. When Eric ends the conversation, he barely has time to put down his phone that he's met with a pair of lips crashing into his.  
The boiling water in the kettle is long forgotten when they both regain their ability to breath at a normal rhythm.

***

Instantly after that, it feels like the stress of counting down the days before the end of the week disappear totally, when he wasn't even aware it was weighting down on him in the first place.

It's maybe why instead of going to their bedroom and quietly falling asleep in each others arms, Eric seeks on this evening to go beyond the making-out sessions they restrained themselves to lately.

Over the last few months having sex began to be synonymous with having to being careful of Dele's cast over his hand, not exerting too much his own muscles or even respecting the temporary rules of « no physical activity of any sort » when his blood was pumped with antibiotics.

Without noticing, they reduced their intimacy and the way their bodies interacted to kissing, cuddling and ever so rarely to more than that.

Thus, in the warmth of their bedsheets, they rediscover how it feels to make love to each other without the worry and the pressure of their professional life haunting them. Eric learns to familiarize himself once again with the way his lover is the polar opposite of every previous sexual partners he ever had. He, who was accustomed to take apart slowly and carefully the person he was having sex with, now get to experience what it feels like to be on the receiving side of this kind of dynamic.

With Dele, he never ever feel like he has the reigns over whatever they are doing, in whichever positions they make love. It's always Dele who controls their pace, like he's almost taking a vicious pleasure in seeing Eric left with his head swimming in disorientating exhilaration.

Eric can't find himself to pretend this arrangement doesn't suit him. If being at your lover's mercy feels like that, control seems superfluous.

Afterwards, when Eric feels himself falling asleep, it's to the sound of birds raising up with the morning sun. Before the last shred of consciousness leaves him, he has one single thought crossing his mind :

What a fool he was before this travel, to worry domesticity wouldn't suit them. It has only been barely four days that they've spent as recluses in this small house and he already feels like they are well on their way to destroy the thin wall that started to grow between them.

***

Free of being just them, just Dele and Eric, he also starts to see the change this retreat makes on Dele. There's an aura of serenity around him, one that was rarely there before, when tension and nervousness was occupying his mind.

Eric realizes that when he wakes up to an empty house, with a cold air flow brushing his face.

Dele's outside and let the front door wide open, he's sat near one of the ill looking tree that was freshly planted in the clearing of the property.

Noticing the angry-looking sky above them and the turmoil of the see, he closes the door quietly, before putting water in the kettle and preparing themselves two cups of tea to warm themselves.

“Good morning Dele !” he says as he walk toward him.

“Shhhh, Eric ! Less noise !”

“Were you talking alone before I just came ?” he whispers as he sit next to Dele.

“Nooo, remember that documentary we watched on the BBC some time ago ? There was a whole segment about how some people talked to their plants to make them grow better, so I figured that it might work as well on this oak !”

“I'm pretty sure it's a maple tr..”

“Less noise !” Dele interrupts, shushing him once again.

“The documentary said talking to plants, not whispering to the trees !”

“Whatever Eric.” he answers before getting back into the “conversation” he was having with the tree.

He thought it wasn't possible to love Dele more than he already did.

He was wrong.

***

Three weeks in and Eric feels like they've spent all their life in this house, in this home that welcomed them with open arms, soothing them like it was build for it.  
Yet, here he is totally out of his depths while staring at the object in his hand :

“Earth to Eric ?” Dele interrupts him in his careful examination.

“Remind me again why you absolutely need to trim your hair every other weeks ?”

“Because I want to ! Now get to work !”

“You’re sure you trust me with this ?”

“Yes I do !“ he sad said giggling.

For the next 20 minutes, Eric complies and set himself to carefully and methodically trim Dele’s hair. He’s so concentrated on his task that he doesn’t notice how solemn the atmosphere had become.

“Voilà, it's done.” Eric says, voice low, as he pivots the small portable mirror they found at different angle to showcase his work to Dele.

“Told you I trusted you...” his lover says, as Eric's fingers slowly tangles themselves in his hair.

***

After almost a month spent there, the days starts to blur together.

The lawn of the clearing begin to tickle their ankles as it grow unbothered by the blades of a mower. The fragile looking maple tree that Dele took a liking to still look quite pathetic, devoid of enough foliage. Yet, the small amount of leaves it still carries seems to have regained a more vivid coloration.

After almost tripping one of too many time on one of the strap of their bags Dele spontaneously takes it upon himself to finally unpack their contents. Little pieces of their belongings end up scattered across the living room.

They spend their days like that, doing everything and nothing simultaneously.

There's days when they barely bother to untangle their limbs to get up from their bed, days where they almost get lost in the vast wilderness that surrounds their house. Sometime, the sun isn't even rising in the horizon that they decide to bathe in the ocean and it's only when dusk has fallen that they decide to dry off, cuddling on one of the steps of the front porch.

The only daily routine Eric care to follow is being by Dele's side as his lover stubbornly continues to talk to the tree. When Dele get himself absorbed into an epic and heavily fantasized retelling of one of his misdeeds littered with private jokes between themselves, Eric's doesn't dare to laugh too loudly. He pretends it's to avoid disturbing the tree, but he suspects that if surrendered himself too openly to the happiness that has been bubbling inside him for weeks, his heart might expand too much for his body to contain it.

***

Eventually, their retreat meets it's end as their obligation to their club and their return to London can't be postponed indefinitely.

Their hearts aren't heavy with regrets, knowing that they did everything they could with the time that was given to them and that this holiday changed them for the better permanently.

On their final day in the cottage, Dele assures him that one day they'll come back. They'll be met with the sight of the sickly maple tree having turned into a tree so tall and magnificent that they'll be able to shield themselves from the wind underneath it's foliage as they'll dry themselves from the ocean.

Yes, Eric agrees, one day they'll come back.

_And this time, they'll never leave._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this fic was a challenge, because it's pure fluff. Also, I've been positing fics every 10-15 days here since march, so I'll force myself to rest a bit now :) ! I have one big fic that i want to write, a soulmate!Pogmann one, but I'll maybe wait a few weeks before or mayble I'll just start writing LOTR or Stargate fanfiction and never come back lol.


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